“Zotz Irene?”

Devastating economic impact from Irene? Bullshit.

WalMarts sell out. Supermarkets sell out. Bodegas sell out. Liquor stores get New Year’s business. Consumption of paid video, plywood, duct tape, flashlights, batteries, sardines, bottled water, crackers and generators, etc? Friggin astronomical.

Lotta bluffin; not much puffin.

We don’t manufacture shit anymore on the Eastern Seabord except hype. We’re a service economy. Period.

Lost business? Bullshit. Most “mission critical” corporate drones have worked remotely, as appropriate, for years–Especially in hypercapitalist, Blackberry-heavy New York state.

No lost orders. Financial markets opened for business Monday. Most folks just worked from home, as they usually do in similar weather circumstance. And legions of cops, firefighters and EMS folks got major overtime pay for cruising empty streets in the surprisingly gentle but persistent rain Sunday. Ka-ching.

Any established business worth its hype has videoconference capability, or their technically capable folks use Skype. No need for air travel except for introductory face-to-face meetings at senior old fart levels, which are inevitably just postponed–not canceled.

Our Dear Wise Father, Bloomberg, advised that NYC public sector folks will be charged a vacation day if they didn’t come into work on Monday. And this edict delivered with extremely fucking dodgy transit service. He basically asked people to walk from the outer boroughs. Kim Jong Il got nothin’ on DWF Bloomy.

North Korean cabinet members have paintings of themselves as centaurs hanging in the secret Kimchi Klubhouse.

Sure, lots of homes got damaged. But lines at Home Depot will be longer than the Trans-Siberian Railway next weekend. As Gawker advises, just make sure you get there before the lesbians grab all the 2x4s.

Those veins are a junky's dream.

"Line forms at the rear, pallly."

Financial news folks repeatedly wailed about the devastating economic impact for retailers of “losing” the traditional last shopping weekend for parents whose children will be starting school.

Bullshit. Folks will just buy the school gear later this week; the bucks just may not hit the books for August financial close. A lot of parents and kids buy online, well in advance.

The damage to infrastructure was expected, but a 100-year flood is just what state DOTs needed to light a fire under their asses to fix what were already known to be substandard roads and bridges, and perhaps seek innovative financing measures (e.g., appropriately tweaked public-private partnership “PPP” concessions) to finally do now what can no longer be postponed. There is no public funding left to repair and create the long-neglected infrastructure essential to the US economy.

Spain has nice bridges. Trains and roads too.

We need to use the European/Australian/Canadian PPP model to do infrastructure. It works! The US can actually can actually learn from other countries.

The loss of life was unfortunate, but with few and ironic exceptions, most people who died likely got Darwined.

Irene was a nice kick in the ass for the East Coast economy, encouraging vital spending when the government has been proscribed (by obdurate and self-serving populist dullards)  from pulling additional tools from the essential Keynesian economic stimulus trick bag during a serious recession.

The hurricane season is young. Let’s hope for similar overhyped East Coast meteorological bullshit.

Wall Street’s Biggest Stop-Loss Takedown of All Time — Suckahs!

Wednesday was likely Wall Street’s most notorious stop-loss takedown. And the biggest heart attack for the financial industry since the mortgage meltdown.

According to the New York Times, officials continue to be puzzled by it. Heh. And the SEC is “hunting for clues.” Hunting for MILF porn is more plausible.

For those not familiar with stock trading, savvy stock market investors/traders almost always set “stop-limits” on their investments to lock in gains or prevent unacceptable losses. In simple terms, one sets a standing automatic sell trigger to be pulled if the stock price moves below a certain level. No matter what. So when there is a precipitous drop in the market, the standing stop orders to sell kick in, pushing the stock price down, with a cascade effect as other stop orders are activated. Crafty deep-pocketed hedge funds typically use this technique on thinly traded single stocks to fleece the inattentive little guys. It’s a sleazy way to gather shares at a fraction of their true value. But taking out an entire market is unprecedented. Wall Street has taken a major hit to its essential market credibility.

A planned assault on the inattentive investor to force them to sell at well below market value? Imagine that? “Taking out the stops” has always been a legit strategy on the Street. But this is uncharacteristically blatant, however, and threatens the essential core credibility of the US stock market.

All’s fair in love, war and the pursuit of filthy lucre. Does anyone have any doubts anymore the markets are rigged?

Some have posited some brilliant hedge fund Ivy League intern misheard “billion” for “million” when keying in a trade. No big whoop. It’s not like somebody lost a prototype iPhone 4G at a bar.